He's decent enough chap. Of the "Northern working bloke" sort of mould (you know the type, decent sort of chap, flat cap, walking the whippet to the pub etc).
I don't quite recall where he responded to the accusation (some sort of meeting?), but he read it out at another meet last month.
I, in turn, purloined his printed copy/notes and said I'd publish it on the net.
And yes, it did make me laugh (well I think so, I was pretty drunk at the time)......
Reply to Accusations.
Last week there was an email exchange between X XXXXX members, during which, I was accused of:
Homophobia
Sexism
Racism
I will reply to these unfounded accusations separately.
Homophobia.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, homophobia is defined as: "An extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people".
I have no issue what so ever with gay's, queer's, faggot's, arse bandits, back door burglars, back door engineers, pansy's, poo pushers, Rear Admirals, rectal pioneers or knob jockey's.
Nor do I have any issue with any of the activities that the afore mentioned get up to that include: Licking the chocolate starfish, playing with the rusty bullet hole, mutual man milking, going down the dirt road, bun splitting, uphill gardening and going down the Bournville Boulevard.
Sexism.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, sexism is defined as: "Predjudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex".
I am of the belief that women SHOULD be allowed to vote Labour and be able to go into working men's clubs, to work as bar staff.
You will never hear me use crude humour such as:
How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you!
Or
What do you do when your woman comes out of the kitchen to whine at you ? Make her chain shorter!
This unfounded accusation came from someone who deliberately married a woman with small feet so that she could spend longer periods at the sink without feeling uncomfortable.
I do not subscribe to this "bro's before hoe's" attitude.
Racism.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, racism is defined as: "Prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior".
It is my belief that all races have something positive to offer and are better than the English in many respects. For example, Chinks, Frogs, Indians and Wop's are all great at cooking. Paki's make great taxi drivers and Poles will do anything for a couple of quid! In fact, they all do things that serve the English quite well!
This unfounded accusation was made by someone who has a facebook page dedicated to hating Argentinians, their country and their culture but who still manages to drink Malbec!
Summary.
I am surprised that the list of accusations made against me did not include weightism. Although not in the Oxford English Dictionary, weightism is a real word that is defined as: "Bias or discrimination against people who are overweight".
Living in the shadows cast by the eclipse of the bloaters has it's advantages. No sun burn, sun glasses never needed, night shift workers being able to sleep during the day, weighbridge callibration and ballast for super tankers are just a few. Never will you hear me complain about the extra miles needed to walk in order to circumnavigate a bloater.
I rest my case!
The above is a verbatim quotation, in the words of the most excellent Sharpy of West Yorkshire......... (I know, cos I've still got his notes, just in case the spawny twat drops enough lottery to set "M'learned friends" on me)
No comments:
Post a Comment