As October becomes November, I often feel a little nostalgic. Because November is "Remembrance" month, and having "done some time" with the forces (specifically the RN), I like to look through the list of "deaths in service" and remember those who're on the list, mainly through no fault of their own and are no longer alive.
Guilt maybe ? dunno. But I find it comforting that if it was me on that list, that at least somebody would remember me.
Then of course, it comes to today. Christmas day.
It should be a time of peace and calm. Uneventful is good, as it means that we can get on with whatever we've decided to do for the time of year.
Yet I often feel (again) nostalgic, maudlin and perhaps a little guilty, remembering the friends who are still here, yet I haven't managed to find (or make) the time, too visit in the last year.
I'm sure I'm not the only person who hates being middle aged. Remembering the earlier years, in my 20's and early 30's when I could just make a phone call and pile over for pretty much no excuse, just to turn up, have a drink or maybe a bite to eat, etc.
Only to find that 10 or 15 years later, I end up taking my life far too seriously, realising that I'm stuck in the rut of work, sleep, work, sleep. With every bit of bad or serious news heard or seen on the various media outlets, seeming like another weight on my shoulders.....
Sometimes wishing I had "the bottle", just to say bollocks to it all and as the Aussies would put it, "go walkabout".
But I can't. It seems that all I can see from this navel gazing point of view, that I have too many responsibilities for that.
So the best I can do, is to say that friends, past and present, you're in my thoughts and that I really hope you're enjoying the time of year with those who're closest to you, and that the time passes uneventfully and peacefully as you'd like.......
